I found this in my girlfriend’s bathroom. We’ve been looking at it for an hour now and still can’t figure out what it is.

So this thing was just sitting there. Silent. Alien. Wrong.
On the cold bathroom tiles, my girlfriend and I stared at it like it might suddenly move. It looked like flesh and fungus had a baby. We argued, we Googled, we whispered worst-case scenarios. The more we zoomed in, the less it made sense. And then we fin… Continues…

By the time we’d run through continue reading …