On the Way to a Family Reunion I Suddenly Knew Something Was Wrong and Told My Husband to Turn Around

floor with my back against the wall. Not to scare us too much. As though fear was a dial he could turn carefully, as though danger could be measured and still be acceptable.

“Mom,” he said, and now his voice was shaking. “I know how bad this sounds.”

“It sounds like what it is.”

“I was desperate.”

“Desperate is a feeling,” I said. “This was a plan.”

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